It’s late winter. You’re dreaming of warmer upcoming days, but in the meantime, you’re still freezing in front of your closet each morning trying to decide what to wear. And the longer it takes to get dressed, the worse the rest of your day will be.
So, Refinery29 decided it’s time to clean that closet out. Here are the items getting the boot.
1. Skinny jeans Erin Yamagata (Associate Photo Editor) is ridding her closet of skinny jeans – replacing them with clothes that are made to look like clothes, instead of making you look almost naked. They will be donated or repurposed into dust rags.
2. Long, wide-legged pants Laura Delarato, Refinery’s Senior Creative, realized that long wide-legged pants get immediately destroyed at the bottom. Out of the closet they go, and in true Mari Kondo style, they won’t be replaced with anything. She plans to donate them to plus-size consignment stores to help remedy the additional costs of plus-size clothing.
3. Miniskirts Thatiana Diaz (Beauty Writer) and Mi Anne Chan (Beauty Writer) are saying goodbye to miniskirts. Trying to look like a teenager simply isn’t worth it when you have to worry about your bum hanging out.
Tatiana will be handing hers down to her younger cousins in the Dominican Republic’s hot climate, while Mi Anne will sell and donate hers. Both women will replace them with more comfortable apparel for their bottom halves that work better with exciting textures and patterns.
4. Suede winter boots Eliza Huber (Fashion Market Writer) has had it with pricey materials that are high-risk and require crazy maintenance. Cue, the suede boot: they cost an arm and can’t even withstand winter. Eliza doesn’t get why they’re still in stores, but back there they’ll go…this time to Goodwill, where their wear will match their price.
5. “Going out” tops Hannah Bullion (Associate Social Media Editor) has decided it’s time for all of her “going out” tops to go out…of her closet. Because going out and adulthood really don’t go well together. And, she’s donating! Hannah will replace these tops with t-shirts and sweaters, preferring to keep classy as comfortable as possible.
The chosen have spoken. What will you clean out of your closet this year?
Most women, when pregnant, will find themselves craving certain foods. There may be many reasons for this, and unfortunately for some women, it isn’t always the most healthy foods they are craving.
At least this woman had a balance of sugary processed food as well as an all-natural fruit. But, no matter what her cravings were, no one should shame her, especially a cashier at the grocery store.
There are a lot of things that you have to prepare for and maintain while pregnant. Oftentimes, self-care winds up being the last thing the expecting mother has time to put on her to-do list.
So, the fact that she gets shamed for it by another pregnant woman is just mean. We assumed that maybe this woman overlooked her particular schedule because frequently, she couldn’t even see her feet.
When you’re pregnant, whatever you put into your body eventually finds its way to the child as it begins to grow. This is why a lot of people feel that when pregnant, a woman should not drink anything with caffeine in it.
In the end, though, this is the woman’s decision, and just like with anything else, as long as that caffeine is in moderation, it shouldn’t be too harmful. Whichever way it goes, the coworker here should have minded their own business.
No Tea for You!
Tea, like coffee, contains caffeine, and so for many people, it’s a big no-no for a pregnant woman to actually have herself a cup of tea.
But sometimes, it may be needed, like in this case when the woman had a bit of a sniffle. The fact that this barista took it upon themselves to shame this woman for needing a cup of hot tea is just out of line.
Are You Sure?
Sometimes the person may not realize they are shaming you and are just honestly concerned. So, when your hormones are all over the place, it’s hard to tell. No matter how well-intentioned this man was, he should have just kept his ideas to himself.
It used to be said that you shouldn’t fly while you’re pregnant, but nowadays, as long as the doctor has given an OK, it’s perfectly safe to do so. So maybe this old man just didn’t know that, or perhaps he was just being nosy.
Just Too Easy
We’ve all heard horror stories of people who have had bad pregnancies. This often includes things like severe morning sickness, tons of weight gain, and other unpleasant things. But, there are some people that just have an uneventful pregnancy.
This doesn’t make their pregnancy any less real than anybody else, and so this person who wanted to shame the OP for having a pregnancy that was “too easy” was just being rude.
Make a Choice
In decades past, when a woman became pregnant, she often ended up staying at home to raise the children. This is an antiquated idea, and nowadays is not something that occurs that much anymore.
With that being said, there are still some men in the world that feel that a woman has to choose between a career and a family. But, shaming a woman at work just because this is how you feel is out of line.
What Are You Having?
For pregnant women, going in public means exposing themselves to people who are very interested in their little bundle of joy. Not only do people walk up in touch the belly without permission, but oftentimes, they’ll ask about the gender of the baby.
There are those parents who choose not to know until the day of, and apparently for this person, that seemed to be a bad call because how were they supposed to be prepared for everything?
No Complaints Allowed
With your body changing and all the different potential side effects of being pregnant, you should be allowed to complain just a little bit. But apparently, this woman’s mother didn’t feel so and, in fact, shamed her for doing just that.
Of course, just like with anything else, unless you can walk a mile in that person’s shoes, you should just maybe keep quiet and let them vent when they need to.
Make it Happen
It’s always fun when you share a birthday with someone in your family. Most of the time, though, this occurs out of pure coincidence and not because you figure out how to make it happen. That seems to be what this grandmother wanted from this pregnant woman.
The fact that she would shame her for not being able to give birth three weeks early so that the baby shared the same birthday as the father is a little much.
It seems that no matter what you do, someone is going to have an opinion about how many children you should have. Most of the time, this is people outside of your family, but occasionally it is the family itself.
When you first find out you’re pregnant, you are very excited, and all you want to do is tell everybody. You do not expect them to be frustrated and disappointed like this woman’s parents and siblings seem to have been.
Going Home Again
Every woman’s pregnancy is different. Sometimes, no matter how badly you want to work from your actual office, the doctor determines that it’s best to work from home. Most companies will figure out how to make this happen.
But, when your company has made it happen, and you actually can make it into the office itself, there should be no reason for your boss to shame you for having to work from home.
Can I Have a Cold One?
When you spend most of your time in a place, then even after you get pregnant, you may still find yourself hanging out there. Take this woman, for instance.
The fact that her second home was a bar gave some people the impression they had the right to shame her for stopping in to visit her friends. But the truth is they had no right to say anything.
When you are someone who has always had problems with your weight, getting pregnant can be frustrating because many people already have the idea that they can body shame you. The most hurtful thing is the people that do this the most often are those closest to you.
This woman got the brunt of it when every member of her family felt they could talk about her weight and how hard it would be for her to lose it after the baby was born.
Working it Out
The truth is that if you were active before you got pregnant, then being active while you’re pregnant should not be a big issue. Of course, there will be some adjustments to your workout routine that you have to implement, but on the whole, it’s perfectly fine to work out while pregnant.
Even though that’s pretty well known, some feel like they should speak up and say something when they see a pregnant woman in the gym. The truth of the matter is, though, they should just keep their opinion to themselves.
There has been a big debate for decades on the correct opinion regarding pain medication while in labor or going the natural route. Everyone has an opinion, and for the most part, everyone is willing to let you know what that is.
This, of course, can lead to a bit of shame, especially when you have opted for the epidural. Just remember it’s your choice so, don’t take anybody else’s opinion very seriously.
There are plenty of women out there who, whether they want to work full time or have to work full time, do so right up to the day of labor. That’s their choice, and typically, these women are those that don’t have very many medical issues that arise while pregnant.
Then again, if you were able to work part-time, it probably would be better as you will have less stress put on your body. So why this woman got shamed for working part-time is beyond us.
Waddle After Me
Getting fresh air and exercise is great when you’re pregnant. But, unfortunately for this woman, she had a little bit of a hiking accident, which led her to be open for someone to think they could shame her just a bit.
It doesn’t matter how far along you are, some women gain weight rapidly, and others carry their babies differently, so this woman shaming her about waddling is just out of line — especially since she had a perfectly good reason for having a limp.
How Did This Happen?
There are just some women out there that don’t edit what they say before they say it. Often this leads to them being rude and asking highly inappropriate questions. For instance, this question about this woman’s choice of being pregnant.
Whether or not this woman meant to get pregnant has nothing to do with her age, and this client should have just kept it professional.
Sometimes the most critical people out there are other pregnant women. Whether this is due to jealousy because your body is different than theirs and you’re just going through a different pregnancy altogether, it still comes off as shaming.
This woman was lucky enough not to have too many stretch marks, and yet a fellow pregnant woman chose to make her feel bad about it. That’s just messed up!
One Too Many?
Some women, when pregnant, just have a massive craving for sweets. But just because they have a craving doesn’t mean they go overboard, nor do we think two donuts is too many when you’re pregnant.
Even so, apparently, there are some that feel that that might be too much and have no problem shaming the poor girl when she’s out and about just enjoying a quick craving.
We are sure that body shaming happens a lot, even when you’re pregnant. For us, this seems a little strange because, as we all know, you gain weight when you are pregnant. Even still, people can’t help themselves!
Being told that you are pretty much a stuffed turkey doesn’t seem like a good thing, and with as many hormones as you have going through your body, we are sure that it kind of stung a bit.
Not a Fan
There are some women who absolutely love being pregnant. They love the way their body feels, and most likely, they have very few side effects from the actual process. But, not every woman feels this way.
Of course, for those who don’t, fellow women often like to shame them and make them feel like they are bad people. This is just not very nice and could be a little judgmental!
Sometimes to ensure a pregnancy stays on track, a doctor might suggest minimal physical activity or even bed rest. This is so that your body can heal itself and ensure nothing bad happens.
So, if you’ve been prescribed this, you should in no way be shamed, especially by a medical professional for following your doctor’s orders. This nurse should be ashamed! If anybody should know better than to say anything, it should be her.
Choosing Other Parents
Many women, for different reasons, choose to go through with the pregnancy only to give up the baby for adoption. We’re sure this is a hard decision and one that should be respected and looked at as a good thing.
There should be no reason for any medical professional to shame you because you choose this option, especially if you seem happy and content with your choices.
You Are So Young
Sometimes when you’re young, people think it is OK to make comments about your pregnancy. This is especially true if you look younger than you actually are, and then sometimes, that shame will translate not only to you but also to your parents.
This woman at the grocery store felt it was necessary to speak up about her opinion on whether or not this young lady should be pregnant. Sometimes the best thing to do when you don’t have anything nice to say is to say nothing at all.
To operate in a proper and polite society, you have to be able to filter your comments no matter how much you want to say something. Apparently, this person didn’t understand that and felt it was OK to be rude.
Body shaming someone in public, no matter if they are pregnant or just plus size, is wrong. But bringing other people into it makes this situation even more frustrating.
Try to Keep it Down
The process of labor is intensive and draining both physically and mentally. So, it’s precisely at this moment that you should not be shamed for anything that occurred during the process or before it.
That shaming should definitely not come from your doctor in such a way that it makes you feel bad at such a beautiful moment in your life. Leave the notes on the pregnancy for the first checkup.
Just like a pregnant woman has a craving, sometimes their senses get heightened, and certain foods make them nauseous. That may be a bad thing, especially when your family likes to get together for big meals.
But just because you have a problem sitting at the table without having to run to the bathroom every now and then, there should be no shame placed on you by any member of your family.
Everybody has an opinion of what is acceptable to go into your body and what isn’t when you’re pregnant. Of course, there are things like alcohol and such that are just no-no’s across the board, but other things like Gatorade seem to be up to the individual.
You don’t know why the woman is drinking Gatorade when she’s pregnant. Apparently, she needed it, so maybe it would have been best if this person just left well enough alone.
It’s always hard to start a new job, but this is especially true when you’re doing it at six months pregnant. Finding a job when you are this far along is hard enough, so it’s great when the boss of your new job is understanding.
Apparently, not everybody in this office was understanding and felt that they should share their opinion with everyone. There’s a time and place, and this was clearly not it.
Watch Your Figure
When you’re a plus-size woman, everybody tries to give you advice about how to eat and lose weight. When you throw in the fact that you’re also pregnant, this advice gets more blatant and is even more hurtful.
Shaming a pregnant woman for her weight is just wrong, and so we appreciate that this woman’s OB gave her some advice on how to handle it.
No Cats Allowed
Cats have a bad rap when it comes to children. Many old wives’ tales talk about cats being evil and stealing souls, and this must be a leftover from those superstitious days. So, there may be some that might want to shame people that are pregnant who have cats.
The big thing for the pregnant woman to realize is that you’re not going to change their opinion, so just ignore what they have to say — though we do feel shaming someone for owning a pet is a little messed up.
Pop a Can Open
Sure — it’s always best to drink water or other healthy drinks when you’re pregnant, but sometimes, there are situations that you may want to pop a can of pop open and have a few swigs. If a pregnant woman decides to do this, it’s nobody’s business but her own, especially if the advice was given to her by a professional.
Shaming her for having a few sips of soda is not going to change anything and is just one of those situations where you should mind your own business.
A Little Music
There are many studies that say playing music for a baby while in the womb is great for them. But, once the baby is born, getting out of the house to see some music is good for the mother.
So no mom should be shamed for making plans for after the baby is born, especially if they already have a babysitter on speed dial. Let the woman start to get back to her life.
That’s Just Mental
Mental health has a stigma attached to it, and so, those with any type of mental health issues are already used to being shamed. When you couple that with being pregnant, the shame gets even more heightened, and that is just a shame.
We can understand people’s concerns about how the meds will affect the fetus. However, it’s none of your business, and we’re sure the mother has probably consulted with her physician.
Welcome to the Shire
The truth of the matter is, when you’re pregnant, your appetite is doubled. So, that may mean that you’re going to eat more meals than an average person, which is OK because that’s part of the process.
No one, especially people at work, should feel that they have the right to shame you for eating so that you can have enough nutrients in your body to support the growth of your baby.
Going into labor is arguably the most painful and scary natural experience a person can go through. There’s just something about having to push an entire human being out through a fairly small canal that is going to hurt… a lot!
The last thing this mom-to-be needed to be told was not to scream — as she dealt with the terrible pain of giving birth. All this under the completely stupid argument that the baby might be born afraid?! This is probably the worst anesthesiologist we’ve heard of.
Just Can’t Win
As all these stories prove, when a woman becomes pregnant, her body suddenly becomes public property — with everyone thinking they have the right to tell her what she should or shouldn’t do. The problem is, with so many different and contradicting opinions, there’s just no winning.
Shamed for finding out what the baby has between its legs, or keeping it a surprise; scrutinized for taking prenatal classes, or for not knowing enough. It seems that no matter what, people will find something stupid to criticize. The only people who should “shut up and get on with it” are the ones not having the baby!
Do You Even Lift?
Each person and pregnancy are completely individual. While some are willing and able to work out throughout the entirety of their pregnancy, for others, it might be more advised to rest up and take it easy.
For this woman, the right thing to do was keep working out and lifting weights basically up until she gave birth. The only people this should matter to are the parents and their doctors. You want to know who’s business it isn’t? Her nosy coworker!
As movies love to teach us, relationships between daughter and mother-in-law are often complicated. Add to that the pressure and craziness that an upcoming baby can create to that dynamic — and you’ve got a powder-keg about to explode.
This soon-to-be-grandma might be sweet for being so excited about her future grandkid. But, that really doesn’t give her the right to force her daughter-in-law to attend an unwanted party with shame. This was clearly a party more for grandma and less for mom.
Not every parent is hands-on with their kids. Some, for one reason or another, just aren’t built for a close relationship. Usually, though, parents love becoming grandparents and spoiling their grandkids rotten. Still, it’s fine if they’re not that loving.
What’s not okay is making your daughter feel like she and her kids are an awful inconvenience to you when you only see them less than a handful of times a year! The only person who should be shamed here is the terribly inconsiderate dad.
This Doctor Is Sus!
A doctor, especially one who deals with pregnant women all day, should always have their patient’s best interest at heart. Part of that definitely should include trusting what your patient tells you (especially when the test results back them up).
What a doctor should never ever do is shame their patient with a mean remark, like this doctor did. We get that weight is an important health factor in a pregnancy, but there are much better ways to broach the subject and talk to your patient about a possible issue in a conducive way.
”If You Like Pina Coladas…”
We know it might be hard to believe, but, amazingly, pregnant women are fully capable of making smart and sensible decisions for their own well-being and their baby’s health. This can all be done without random people’s unwanted input. It’s shocking, we know!
Yes, pregnant women have just as much right to celebrate with a fruity drink as anyone else. That’s exactly what virgin drinks were made for! Shout out to the server for her truly perfect response to this nosy stranger!
There are all sorts of strange superstitions around pregnancy. Some, like how low or high the belly is, are supposed to be a way to predict the baby’s preference for pink or blue — while others, like eating spicy food will burn the baby’s eyes, are less harmless.
This one, though, is just plain mean. It also seems to play into stupid ideas of a predisposed rivalry and jealousy between a mother and a daughter. In any case, we think that this sister-in-law really intended to just hurt this poster’s feelings.
If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that essential workers are just that — absolutely and undoubtedly essential. Doctors and nurses work especially hard to make sure we’re healthy, with very little thought for their own wellbeing.
This poster’s sister is clearly a devoted worker to her patient and just as much of a devoted and nurturing mother to her child. And again, her choice of balancing work and home in the way she does is nobody’s business but hers!
Not in the Mood to Party
Going to a music festival with friends can be one of the great joys of life. But, not when you’re eight months pregnant… during the summer… when you also have to deal with managing your gestational diabetes. Then, it’s a recipe for disaster.
We definitely think this woman made the absolute best choice for her at that moment. There will be other festivals in the future. There really was no reason to shame her for not wanting to take a risk and instead rest at home.
Watch Your Step
Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean that you can’t look good while you’re strutting your stuff around town. If that means that you can walk in heels and still be able to maneuver efficiently, then, by all means, go for it.
The fact that any man would be OK with shaming someone in public about what they’re wearing, no matter how well-intentioned they may be, is just wrong.
It used to be that when you were pregnant, it was expected of you to don yourself some maternity clothes. Nowadays you don’t have to do that — you can always wear regular clothes and adjust accordingly.
Or you can invest in some clothes that are maternity but don’t look like maternity. Either way it goes, no one should be shamed for not wearing maternity clothes — especially if they can’t afford them because, after all, they are kind of pricey.
Finding out you’re pregnant is, for most, an exciting time of life. When you get the news, you forget everything else that you’ve been focusing on lately, and that includes your weight loss plan.
It should be a celebration for everybody, but sometimes there are family members who feel that they have to make their inner voice and outer voice and shame you before even congratulating you.
We’re sure every woman goes through being shamed a bit when they’re out in public, and though it’s not nice, it may be something that you should expect. Everybody has different opinions and will want you to take advice from them.
The one place that you don’t think that you will be shamed, of course, is at the doctor. But, unfortunately for this woman, that is exactly where the shaming occurred.
When you’re pregnant, you naturally will be craving more food as you are, as they say, eating for two. But, when someone gets on you about your weight — whether that be a relative or even your doctor — you may find yourself a little self-conscious about your calorie intake.
You are going to gain weight, but when the person mentioning this is your doctor, that could be a little bit more meaningful to you and may have you counting calories as this woman did.